Aditi Mathur

Sep 20, 2020

2 min read

Who is Listening… by the way!

I had been teaching communication since last twenty odd years and have always been saying out loud and clear to all those who could accept, that communication is merely exchange of ideas between sender and receiver.. but I realised lately that I was approached by all to learn how to speak but no one came to learn how to listen. It meant that I was training the students to just learn how to use the language and the medium to express but not the real essence of communication.

The chaos is visible around me, each one is speaking, shouting, seeking attention, demanding approvals, clarifying, sharing accomplishments, judging, correcting, expecting…… and all in such loud manner failing to realise that each one is a speaker, no one is listening to anyone anymore. We have comprehended communication as the medium and purpose of communication is to speak what you “think is right” and being heard anyhow.

The leaders are directing, the teachers are preaching, the parents are expecting, the children are demanding, the relatives are judging, the colleagues are comparing.

The whole drama seems to have become so one sided that it looks we are living in the jungle where each person is looking at each other to either judge or be judged, the idea of loving each other the way the other person is gets overlooked in the race of being ahead and proving yourself better than the other person all the time.

The social media has further provided the platform for satisfying this human urge to speak, speak and speak all what they can think of without being responsible for the outcomes, feelings and setbacks they can cause to the fellow human being.

We all wish to be heard without having the patience to hear.

I really wish to redefine the definition of communication, it must mean exchange of thoughts, ideas and expressions with the objective of maintaining healthy human relations. Once the objective of communication is brought out clear, it makes us understand that we need to speak the fact, have to be responsible for the feelings and must help us develop better relationship bond.

The purpose of learning a language is not speaking whatever comes to your mind, the rational brain should exercise some control to demand the reason of thinking and speaking and instead it should divert us to listen more carefully, understand more empathetically and relate more lovingly to our fellow humans.

As Stephan Covey said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” should be the guiding principle to live our relations and develop our communication for healthier and a happier life.