Three A’s of Winning People

Aditi Mathur
3 min readAug 14, 2020


Its been quite some time that I have developed this hobby of observing people, reading about their behaviours, being blown out by their reactions, seeing them sobbing over minute matters, rejoicing irrelevantly, pained unconvincingly. It all seems very strange and weird, but yes, i could connect to the fact that its human to human that makes all these reactions possible. Its not the nature, environment, climate, material objects, animals that have so much ability to transform and impact a human as much as what another human can.

So I got curious to understand the whole philosophy behind it and came out with three A’s of winning people:

The magic of Attention: Every human seems so attention deprived that all the concepts of communication, interpersonal skills, team dynamics, human resource management, organisational development and all have one common feature and that is paying attention to individuals. No wonder, Hawthorne studies outcome of laying importance to attention completely changed the organisational behaviour studies. It applies to each one of us, we crave for importance and the easiest way of expressing importance of someone in our life is through giving them undivided attention. It starts very early in childhood that the human understands the significance of expressing our love and care through over flowing attention to the child. The common psychological disorder stems from its deficit, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) which at times has no cure and he/she spends the whole life feeling deprived of love and care.

So the simplest way of winning people over is giving them the desired attention which can be done effectively through listening carefully, observing keenly, smiling lovingly and thats going to work like magic to win the heart over of anyone you come across in life and help them derive the joy of living

The power of Acceptance: The human looks up at another human to approve and accept him/her with her imperfections and competence. The mere power of acceptance can make the person feel loved, desired and unconditionally significant. After the due attention the human feels that there is a need to connect to people of similar values and beliefs and the whole journey of associating with friends, life partner, work life is a mix of connecting to people via being accepted in the group or as an individual. The acceptance makes a person feel a sense of worth and value and the group or the individuals who convey this feeling enriches a person’s core search of identity.

The approval and acceptance becomes a source of making decisions, living life and also sometimes a source of regret for many as they realise that they have lived all through their life to please and seek approvals from people around them instead of doing what they always dreamt of. But giving acceptance to individuals is the most significant way of winning over a person s heart to make him/her feel the unconditional love, validate his existence to give a sense of belongingness.

The Charm of Appreciation: As the saying goes “A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected”, makes the whole idea of what impact a genuine appreciation can have on a person’s life and performance. An individual looks up at another fellow being to pay attention, accept and approve his worth and appreciate his efforts and endurance to truly make him feel the joy of his life. There are situations when the person has to face life’s uncertainties and unwarranted moves, it is then he/ she looks up at the loved ones and well wishers around to garner the moral support to handle the challenges the life has to offer.

It just takes these three A’s to build a relation of life which ensures a healthy and fulfilling co- existence for the sake of exploring the true bliss of living. Lets make it happen for all our loved ones!!

The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you…….Rumi